An Important Lesson

There are starving children all over the world. Really, there are. I know this because my parents told me dozens of times during my childhood when I refused to eat what had been prepared for dinner. I vowed to myself at the tender age of eight that I would never use that line on my kids. Sorry, eight-year-old me, I've failed you. Because, this morning I did it. Ava, for the second day in a row refused to finish her YoKids yogurt. She begged me for it at the store and promised me she would eat it all. However, after several minutes of it going untouched I asked her to take a bite. When she did, she made a face as if I had asked her to eat a worm. "It's yucky!" "What's yucky about it?" I ask. "It's not cold," she answers. It had been cold, and technically, it still was. However, it wasn't as cold as Ava would have liked and thus, it was "yucky." So, another container of yogurt went to waste. I never force Ava to finish a meal. My rule is, you eat until you're full. But, after two small bites, I knew she wasn't full. So, I explained to her that she had wasted the yogurt. Her response? "We can buy more." And that's when it happened, the words my parents had used so many times came racing out of my memory and somehow escaped my mouth, "Honey, there are children in the world who don't have any food at all." She looked at me shocked and asked why they don't just go to the grocery store and get some. At this juncture in our conversation, I realized I had two options I could PREACH at Ava about why we don't waste food and how thankful she needs to be, or I could TEACH Ava about why we don't waste food and how blessed we are. I chose the latter.

So, I explained, in three-year-old terms, what hunger means. That there are people in the world and even in our own city who don't have food in their homes, or money to buy food. I could tell she was saddened and immediately began running through her friends' names asking if they had enough food. After reassuring her that her friends were all well-fed, I asked her how it made her feel to know that some children are hungry. "Sad," she answered. I asked how it made her feel that we were blessed to have food in our home, "Happy," she said. Then, I asked what we could do to help people who don't have food. "Give them some of ours," she said emphatically. So, we began scanning our cupboards and chose some canned foods . Then, I called the local food bank and asked what they were in need of and was told tuna fish and peanut butter. So, after ballet off we went to the store to stock up on both, along with some other canned goods, all of which Ava chose.


Soon after, we arrived at the food bank. I let Ava carry a few of the peanut butters in. My heart smiled as I watched my little girl happily bounce through the automatic doors, so excited to make her donation. The man at the front grinned as he saw Ava trot in. She handed him the peanut butter and announced, "My Mommy and I got these for people who don't have food." The man thanked Ava and put the peanut butter in a large box, along with the other boxes and bags of food we had brought.


On our way home I asked Ava how she felt.
"Very happy," she replied.
"What did you learn," I asked.
"I learned that we're blessed to have food and I shouldn't waste it."
"Did you learn anything else?"
She thought for a few seconds.
"It's good to serve people."

She couldn't see me because I was driving, but a big smile came over my face, accompanied by tears in my eyes. I had hoped that from the experience she would obviously stop wasting her food, but more than that, I wanted her to recognize how wonderful it feels when we serve others.

Tonight at bed as we read scriptures, I came across the word "blessing." Ava interrupted me and said, "I have blessings."
"What are they, honey?"
"My family, and Jesus, and food to eat."

So, maybe she learned a lesson. Maybe she'll never waste food again. Probably not, though. What she will do, is remember this experience and the feeling she had as she chose foods she likes, knowing very well they would go to someone else, and being completely okay with that. What I'll remember is how a not-so-stellar morning, provided me with an amazing opportunity to teach my daughter, and the look on her face when I realized the joy she got from serving. I hope she never stops.

Learning from Ava

Andy and I have made a conscious effort this year to teach Ava about the true meaning of Christmas. Of course, we've read the nativity story to her and even took her to a live nativity at the Provo Tabernacle. We've explained that Christmas is when we celebrate Jesus' birthday. She's got all that down, but trying to explain to an almost three-year-old that Christmas isn't all about the presents can be difficult. In all fairness, Ava hasn't been all "Gimme, gimme" that's not her personality anyway, but occasionally, if she sees something she likes in a store (usually a book) she'll say, "Maybe I can ask Santa for that." I mean, her letter to Santa was more concerned with how things were going at the North Pole with Mrs. Claus and the reindeer, than asking for gifts. However, she is definitely excited for the presents she knows will inevitably come. And, I'll admit, there have been a few occasions when Ava was being a little naughty or disobedient and Andy and I used the "Santa is watching" threat. With all the hustle and bustle and excitement over getting gifts, it's so easy to forget or overlook opportunities to teach about the true meaning of Christmas (do I sound like Charlie Brown, yet?). So, in the past few weeks I've taken every chance I could to teach Ava about service and recognizing how her heart feels when she does something nice for someone else...

So, that's a long preface to the actual story I wanted to tell in this post. Ava and I began, this week, doing our semi-annual "sorting of the toys." I try at Christmas-time and birthday-time (when I know she'll be getting new toys) to go through her toys with her and allow her to choose toys she would like to give to little boys and girls who aren't as fortunate as us. Ava likes doing this. Sometimes, choosing toys to keep and donate can be like Sophie's Choice for her, but she does it. And, if it's just too difficult a decision for her I allow her to keep whatever toy or toys that caused the dilemma. I figure, if it's that difficult for her, she's probably not ready to part ways with the toy. Anyway, we began this time going through her stuffed animals, of which she has a plethora. At the very bottom of her stuffed animal bin lay two doggies. I don't even think she knew they were in there. I laid them both on the floor and told her she could choose one to keep and one to give away. First, she decided to give away the floppy dalmation and keep the floppy brown dog. Then, she changed her mind, then she hugged them both and said she wanted to keep both (she looooooves animals!). I agreed. But then, she surprised me. She said, "Mommy, I want to give something to a poor little girl. She can have one of my dollies." Then, she ran over to where all her dollies are and chose her very favorite one. "Here Mommy, we can give a little girl Maggie." Shocked, I said, "Honey, are you sure. You can keep Maggie and we can find another toy to give away." "No Mommy, another little girl can have Maggie. Maybe someday I can get another Maggie." Tears welled up in my eyes as I agreed and stuck Maggie in the giveaway bag. After Ava went to bed, I considered taking Maggie out. But, Andy helped me realize that would go against what we were trying to teach Ava. She had made a choice. She chose to give something she loved to another child, just to make that child happy.

I had a harder time parting with Maggie than Ava. She hasn't thought twice about it. It amazes me that Ava, at not even three, realizes how important it is to give to others, especially those who aren't as fortunate as we are. She told me that she knows a little girl will be "so happy to play with Maggie", and that it made her heart happy to give her away. We've been trying this Christmas season to teach her, but I think I have a lot to learn from my little girl.